Pt I. You may ask yourself, well how did I get here?
Ever wonder what it’s like to work with a Life Coach/Mentor? A person whom you admire and has actually guided you very swiftly to see many things about your self, or “holy shit” moments as I like to call them. Real eye-opening real life Life Changers. Maybe you are wondering “what the hell a life coach/mentor is or does” before we get to the “wonder what it’s like to work with one” part. Because the person I am working with now, who I can’t wait to tell you about, just “aint ya mama’s life coach”. But first let me tell you a little backstory into why I believe I can properly explain this, because in many ways finding a right person to work with on your life is much like dating. You have to play the field, go through some experiences, and then when you meet “the one”, you will be assured they are the real deal. If i can help you speed up this process, then I would have saved you time. And there’s nothing like losing time. You can’t get that shit back. So listen in.
Maybe you think a life coach plays the role of Therapist. And that would be true. I saw a therapist once. So I can see the similarities where they do bring out and talk you through some past traumatic wounds experienced and shaped in childhood. When I saw my therapist way back when, we did go on and on about these wounds, also known as Imago relationships, formed as early as childbirth with our parents and why we would seek partners of similar parental qualities to help us heal from any emotional scarring created in childhood that has sense shaped our beliefs. My therapist and I would dance and dance on and around this topic, and it helped for the most part in that I started to intellectualize why I would do certain things. Which was fascinating. I could understand the why. Of course I had no clue as to how to stop the why, but I could understand it. Then after about a year she raised her rates and I felt as if I was healed, because one of my take away “breakthroughs” was that I accepted and lived in mediocrity, so we parted ways.
After a few years of grappling through life on my own (sans therapist), I reconnected with an old friend who happened to be doing some work in something relatively new to me called life coaching therapy. I decided to give her a whirl and see what she was all about and how my life could be coached from her perspective. I was fresh into my 40’s and going through hell on some rough seas in my life, clinging to a deflated dingy. Again, as with the therapist, we delved into the why’s to see where my childhood wounds were playing a role in what, in this case, were my love relationships. Or relationship, one specifically, which happened to be an affair. We danced and delved and I remember crying a lot and after a while, I think we became stuck on repeat. I remember our last session together, it was more a “hail mary” football pass to the end zone to see if my brain could make the catch because I’m pretty sure we had reached a mutual impasse and there weren’t any more seconds on the clock. She made the long pass. I think it hit me on the back of the head and rendered me unconscious.
After that coaching experience, I did for a brief moment, hire what I can only describe as a possible voodoo priestess disguised as a yoga teacher/masseuse in training. We met at her house in the “healing room”. You could only enter the “healing room” through the very back of the house from the outside, and I remember tromping through tall weeds and waving my hands to clear spider webs so i could get to the backdoor entrance and ring a bell. It usually took her about a solid five minutes to get to the door. Granted that was probably a big red flag, but I wanted to be open minded and see what she had to offer. Her method of therapy included me sitting facing her while she sat in an elevated chair and based on what we wanted to bring to the circle of sharing, she would offer me her mantras of advice. And based on those mantras, it would determine what form of therapy I could receive such as reflexology, a massage, or being wrapped very very tightly in hot towels while chants were said, with eyes closed, over me. It came to a head on what turned out to be our last session when I brought up my past affair in the sharing circle. What followed was an hour of what is best described as projection shaming. Following that, I reluctantly got my massage while thinking to myself “my lord she is going to make a voodoo doll of me and stick pins in its eyes and vajayjay to repent for the sins I had brought up into the healing room!” I got out of there and dropped her like a hot potato, over email. No way I was doing it face to face oh hell no!
stay tuned for Pt II…